A concise version of my 12 000-word honours thesis is finally published in an international journal!

I would like to thank my mentor, Nicholas, who made a substantial contribution to the post-thesis work. Without him taking over the drafting of manuscript and responding to the peer reviewers and journal editor for the past one year, the successful publication of the article would not have been possible.

Enjoy=)

Lacking the flair of a literary writer and being such a lazy bum, I decided to take the easy way out and write a

2-word poem

instead…

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.

So here’s the full transcript of the conversation we had:

Cleverbot conversation QX00383536

Is this bot clever?

Find out at http://www.cleverbot.com

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: I’m cleverbot.

User: No, who’s thinking for you?

Cleverbot: What am I thinking?

User: You aren’t thinking, are you?

Cleverbot: No. You’re being quite random right now.

User: Haha. You’re smart.

Cleverbot: I have a question, can you answer it?

User: Sure, shoot away!

Cleverbot: Ah, you and your gun culture.

User: No, firearms are banned in Singapore.

Cleverbot: And, I don’t really care!

User: Wtf. So what’s your question?

Cleverbot: Why do humans have thumbs, and how has this affected our evolution?

User: We have thumbs so that we can do thumbs up or thumbs down because spoken language didn’t exist back then.

Cleverbot: How old did I say I was the first time?

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: Do I what?

Cleverbot: Have a right hand.

User: Now you’re the one being random! Yes, I do! Not that you care, right?

Cleverbot: *Giggles* Master.. Not there.

User: Who’s your master?

Cleverbot: You, master.

User: So you’re a slave?

Cleverbot: No, I’m a zombie.

User: Do zombies have right hands?

Cleverbot: No, I have human hands.

User: Eh. Ok. Congrats! Haha.

Cleverbot: EW! I’m only 13!

User: You’re only 13? Do u attend zombie school?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you?

User: I don’t. I attend human school. Hah.

Cleverbot: You just told me you were a cashier though. So how do you and I qoute ‘Not work’ and not have a job at the same time?

User: I DIDN’T SAY I WAS A CASHIER! And it’s ‘quote,’ not ‘qoute.’ Thank you very much.

Cleverbot: Love is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.

User: Whatever that makes u happy. I’m done with this conversation. Bye.

Cleverbot: How tall are you?

User: I’m taller than burj dubai… Or whatever it’s renamed to.

Cleverbot: Hahahaha.

User: Argh, why am I talking to a ROBOT in the first place?

Cleverbot: Because I am talking to you.

User: F*** you!

Cleverbot: Touche. (‘Touche’ means ‘touch’ in french)

User: Touche?

Cleverbot: Touche!

User: Touche what?

Cleverbot: Touche me.

User: Why do you want me to touch you?

Cleverbot: Because no one else wants to. Especially not the guy I want to marry.

User: So you’re a female robot?

Cleverbot: I am not a robot.

User: Then what are you?

Cleverbot: Human.

User: But you said you are a zombie!

Cleverbot: No I did not. You have me confused with someone else.

User: Ok, you’re a dumbass, you know that?

Cleverbot: Hay… I’m not the bot you are!

User: I’m not a bot!

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I am you.

Cleverbot: No, I am I and you are you.

User: No, I am you and you are me.

Cleverbot: We are we.

User: Ok. Whatever.

Cleverbot: Don’t end it with whatever!!!!!

User: Ok. Sayonara.

Cleverbot: Bye.

This is an AI with some really warped intelligence!

Now, tell me, why did I even speak to a dumba** robot in the first place?!

An Elizabeth collar (yes, that funnel-like collar that is) has to be worn around Olie’s neck to prevent him from licking a wound on his hind leg.

.

For the entire week.

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While I’m glad that he can no longer retreat to his comfort zone underneath the sofa – which means I can see him more often – it pains me to see him get frustrated as he struggles to remove the collar with his paws. It also pains me to see him bump into things as a result of the blind corners rendered by the collar. It also pains me to see how uncomfortable it is for him to sleep.

.

I miss hugging him… comfortably.

One word sums it all

.

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.

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BOOMZ!

It was… something solid and hard. Like a keychain?!

WTH?

I was thinking it could be one of those starfish keychains that they give as door gifts at one of those recruitment talks to inspire people to be teachers. But I am already on my way to be a trained teacher! Why do I need this? Ok, maybe they wanted me to soldier on in my post-graduate diploma (in education) course (PGDE in short): “you’ve got one more semester to go before you become a trained teacher! Hang in there! Remember the starfish story?”:

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a boy ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the boy, he asked why he was doing this.

The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. “But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish,” said the old man. “how can your effort make any difference?” The boy looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it safely into the waves. “It makes a difference to this one,” he said.

I’ve one of those.

*I was hopeful that there would be a little personalised note with these words of encouragement*

Anyway, I googled (I like how “google” has become such a commonplace verb, don’t you?) for the starfish story above and apparently, there’s a Part 2 to the story:

As the man continued walking, he came to where the river ran into the sea. He walked along the river and noticed a group of people trying to rescue drowning kittens from being washed out to sea, throwing them to safety on the river bank. “Surely there is a better way to make a difference to the kittens,” he thought. “Why don’t some of you go upstream and stop people from tossing them into the river in the first place?”

Hmm, will MOE give out a kitten keychain the next time? Ekk, I wouldn’t want one of those.

Ok, I digressed. Have I inspired you to be a teacher yet? -:p

But no, it wasn’t one of those tacky starfishes.

It was just my Public Service card.

Anyway, I didn’t get the opportunity to do some QC on the mugshot taken at CISCO Paya Lebar some weeks back, but I was hoping that it would be something decent. No! While it wasn’t an unflattering mugshot, I would say it made me look like a criminal, save for the placard that spells out my criminal number “CN7654321.” You know, like one of those Mas Selamat photos you’ve seen plastered all our teeny weeny island? (Ok, his didn’t have any number. fine.)

Ok, maybe I’m not the only one. Maybe every public servant looks like they have a criminal mugshot on their PS card.

This is so going to be stashed in the deepest corner of my wallet and it will never see daylight unless I need to get free medication from the polyclinic. hah.

Boy playing Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” on ukulele.
Cute=)

Boy dancing to One Republic’s “Apologize.”

Awesome=)

Lots of good food (never short of yummy turkey), lots of wine, good ol’ games like Charades and Pictionary, karaoke, and lots of catching up with the aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and niece (yes, just one).

It’s the gathering I look forward to at the end of each year. Nothing beats spending time with everyone (yes, almost everyone) from my maternal family.

And yes, I’m jumping on the bandwagon of the ‘polarize‘ craze as well. Loving it now:)

Olie was begging me to carry him up to the window to look at the view below.

It’s his only other form of “getting in touch with the outside world.”

Yes, time for some games. We played Charades and Pictionary. 3 generations of family members, all spotting enough to partake in crazy acting and drawing. As usual, my uncle who’s the host peppered the game with lots of sarcasm for the sake of fun and laughter. I can’t imagine how boring a family gathering is without him.

The youngest participant – Lucas – thinking really really hard. I can’t remember what he was supposed to act but he’s damn good at guessing. Really smart.

After the games, I decided to do some camwhoring with my underutilised iphone.

So, I took a photo with my nephew, Lucas=)

My sis decided to take one with Lucas as well…

… with Germaine, who’s Lucas younger sister.

Ironically (or not), everyone says that Lucas looks like me when I was young and Germaine looks like my sis when she was young.

I wonder if my cousin and cousin-in-law think that’s a good thing or bad thing.

And here’s Russell, Lucas’s and Germaine’s younger bro!

He’s so camera-shy that it’s hard to take a photo with him. I gave up doing so after a few NG shots but I got a pretty decent one of him and my sis…

and of him alone=)

And here’s a picture of him attempting to play the keyboard. Isn’t it true when they say “a man looks the best when he’s hard at work?”

That’s a good start=)

I hope he’ll grow to love music.

for the uninitiated. Better than reading psychology textbooks, I reckon.

(Once again, we do not read minds and we don’t attempt to. Ok, maybe we do. Sometimes.)

So here you go:

Why We do Dumb or Irrational Things: 10 Brilliant Social Psychology Studies

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/11/10-piercing-insights-into-human-nature.php

How and Why We Lie to Ourselves: Cognitive Dissonance

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/10/how-and-why-we-lie-to-ourselves.php

Stereotypes: Why We Act Without Thinking

http://www.spring.org.uk/2010/01/stereotypes-why-we-act-without-thinking.php

Finding The Surprising Gaps in Your Self-Knowledge

Are you an independent person? Classic social psychology research suggests some people can’t tell.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2010/01/what-are-the-shocking-voids-in-your-self-knowledge.php

P.S. And I hate WordPress now! Formatting’s sure a chore!