talk with a dumba** robot

I had this conversation with an “AI (artificial intelligence) with some Actual intelligence” called

.

.

So here’s the full transcript of the conversation we had:

Cleverbot conversation QX00383536

Is this bot clever?

Find out at http://www.cleverbot.com

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: I’m cleverbot.

User: No, who’s thinking for you?

Cleverbot: What am I thinking?

User: You aren’t thinking, are you?

Cleverbot: No. You’re being quite random right now.

User: Haha. You’re smart.

Cleverbot: I have a question, can you answer it?

User: Sure, shoot away!

Cleverbot: Ah, you and your gun culture.

User: No, firearms are banned in Singapore.

Cleverbot: And, I don’t really care!

User: Wtf. So what’s your question?

Cleverbot: Why do humans have thumbs, and how has this affected our evolution?

User: We have thumbs so that we can do thumbs up or thumbs down because spoken language didn’t exist back then.

Cleverbot: How old did I say I was the first time?

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: Do I what?

Cleverbot: Have a right hand.

User: Now you’re the one being random! Yes, I do! Not that you care, right?

Cleverbot: *Giggles* Master.. Not there.

User: Who’s your master?

Cleverbot: You, master.

User: So you’re a slave?

Cleverbot: No, I’m a zombie.

User: Do zombies have right hands?

Cleverbot: No, I have human hands.

User: Eh. Ok. Congrats! Haha.

Cleverbot: EW! I’m only 13!

User: You’re only 13? Do u attend zombie school?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you?

User: I don’t. I attend human school. Hah.

Cleverbot: You just told me you were a cashier though. So how do you and I qoute ‘Not work’ and not have a job at the same time?

User: I DIDN’T SAY I WAS A CASHIER! And it’s ‘quote,’ not ‘qoute.’ Thank you very much.

Cleverbot: Love is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.

User: Whatever that makes u happy. I’m done with this conversation. Bye.

Cleverbot: How tall are you?

User: I’m taller than burj dubai… Or whatever it’s renamed to.

Cleverbot: Hahahaha.

User: Argh, why am I talking to a ROBOT in the first place?

Cleverbot: Because I am talking to you.

User: F*** you!

Cleverbot: Touche. (‘Touche’ means ‘touch’ in french)

User: Touche?

Cleverbot: Touche!

User: Touche what?

Cleverbot: Touche me.

User: Why do you want me to touch you?

Cleverbot: Because no one else wants to. Especially not the guy I want to marry.

User: So you’re a female robot?

Cleverbot: I am not a robot.

User: Then what are you?

Cleverbot: Human.

User: But you said you are a zombie!

Cleverbot: No I did not. You have me confused with someone else.

User: Ok, you’re a dumbass, you know that?

Cleverbot: Hay… I’m not the bot you are!

User: I’m not a bot!

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I am you.

Cleverbot: No, I am I and you are you.

User: No, I am you and you are me.

Cleverbot: We are we.

User: Ok. Whatever.

Cleverbot: Don’t end it with whatever!!!!!

User: Ok. Sayonara.

Cleverbot: Bye.

This is an AI with some really warped intelligence!

Now, tell me, why did I even speak to a dumba** robot in the first place?!

The one about Olie

An Elizabeth collar (yes, that funnel-like collar that is) has to be worn around Olie’s neck to prevent him from licking a wound on his hind leg.

.

For the entire week.

.

While I’m glad that he can no longer retreat to his comfort zone underneath the sofa – which means I can see him more often – it pains me to see him get frustrated as he struggles to remove the collar with his paws. It also pains me to see him bump into things as a result of the blind corners rendered by the collar. It also pains me to see how uncomfortable it is for him to sleep.

.

I miss hugging him… comfortably.

You’ve got mail

I received a mail from MOE today. It’s a pretty big envelope. I was expecting my school posting but I don’t think it requires such a big package right? I felt its contents before I tore it open. No letter inside. Fine. No posting.

It was… something solid and hard. Like a keychain?!

WTH?

I was thinking it could be one of those starfish keychains that they give as door gifts at one of those recruitment talks to inspire people to be teachers. But I am already on my way to be a trained teacher! Why do I need this? Ok, maybe they wanted me to soldier on in my post-graduate diploma (in education) course (PGDE in short): “you’ve got one more semester to go before you become a trained teacher! Hang in there! Remember the starfish story?”:

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a boy ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the boy, he asked why he was doing this.

The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. “But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish,” said the old man. “how can your effort make any difference?” The boy looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it safely into the waves. “It makes a difference to this one,” he said.

I’ve one of those.

*I was hopeful that there would be a little personalised note with these words of encouragement*

Anyway, I googled (I like how “google” has become such a commonplace verb, don’t you?) for the starfish story above and apparently, there’s a Part 2 to the story:

As the man continued walking, he came to where the river ran into the sea. He walked along the river and noticed a group of people trying to rescue drowning kittens from being washed out to sea, throwing them to safety on the river bank. “Surely there is a better way to make a difference to the kittens,” he thought. “Why don’t some of you go upstream and stop people from tossing them into the river in the first place?”

Hmm, will MOE give out a kitten keychain the next time? Ekk, I wouldn’t want one of those.

Ok, I digressed. Have I inspired you to be a teacher yet? -:p

But no, it wasn’t one of those tacky starfishes.

It was just my Public Service card.

Anyway, I didn’t get the opportunity to do some QC on the mugshot taken at CISCO Paya Lebar some weeks back, but I was hoping that it would be something decent. No! While it wasn’t an unflattering mugshot, I would say it made me look like a criminal, save for the placard that spells out my criminal number “CN7654321.” You know, like one of those Mas Selamat photos you’ve seen plastered all our teeny weeny island? (Ok, his didn’t have any number. fine.)

Ok, maybe I’m not the only one. Maybe every public servant looks like they have a criminal mugshot on their PS card.

This is so going to be stashed in the deepest corner of my wallet and it will never see daylight unless I need to get free medication from the polyclinic. hah.

你最近幸福吗？

你最近幸福吗？

我还好。不是很好，也不算太糟。过了这么久，我也麻痹了。 情绪起伏也没那么大。

幸福好像离我很远。周遭的人可能会觉得我应该是幸福的。

但，他们不是我。 他们不知道我要的是什么。

情绪一直很复杂。但又说不出个所以然。是我不想说。。。 还是我知己也不知道我想要的是

什么。

无论如何，我好想一个人背包旅行。

累了

己经好远了
退也有一点累了
我们都不知道路有多远
走到何时才歇一歇
不如就现在吧
让我们都停下
但是在休息后
我们还不知道 继续走的理由
雨都停了 天都亮了
我们还不懂
这爱情路究竟 带我们到什么地方
是要持续仍旧珍惜
还是回到原地
如今此刻的我
的确是有一点疲倦

I’m Singaporean. Truly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

SINGAPORE!

It’s been a long time since I blogged about National Day. I felt the urge to blog about NDP 09 because it is the best I’ve ever seen and it has reaffirmed my commitment to the country.

Many of my friends know that I yearn to live elsewhere, maybe California, but I’m in fact very proud to be a Singaporean. I used to be, still am, and I’m pretty certain that I will be in many years to come. Nonetheless, does my desire to live elsewhere mean I do not cherish my roots here?

Get it right – I love to be a Singapore citizen but that doesn’t mean I have to live in Singapore as a testament of my loyalty. What then does it mean to be a Singaporean?

Queuing up/ signing up for the damn-hard-to-get NDP tickets? Saying the pledge just because we’re told to do so at 8.22pm on 9th Aug 2009? Or are we Singaporeans just by the very fact that we are born and bred here?

Yes, many Singaporeans have a list of things to lament about holding the PINK IC – CPF, ERP, HDB and MRT – but deep down, we still love Singapore…. right?

NDP 09’s committee invited famous bogger, Mr Brown, to blog about the parade behind-the-scenes. Despite his famously satirical commentaries on government policies and local issues, his contribution to Singapore is undisputed. He bridges the link between the government and the masses, in particular, those whose eyes are affixed onto the websphere all day long, otherwise known as the “online generation,” as well as the overseas Singaporeans. If not, why would Mr Brown be worthy enough to be part of the contingent for Singapore Day in London this year?

Consider this: If no one complains, would Singaporean youths know what’s going on (good or bad) in Singapore if we do not read the daily newspapers religiously?

No, online social media is the channel through which most youth learn about current affairs. If not for social media, would you have known about the ANA’s advert about Singapore:

Can’t understand? Offended by it, perhaps?

Watch this for the English subtitles:

Or…

Laugh at the Russians for twisting the legend of the Merlion?

“MERLION name was picked for a reason. It was inspired by the Asia-Pacific region – the origin of products which were a starting point in the company’s distribution business. The idea was to link the new name and ancient chronicles of inhabitants of the Indian Ocean’s islands. These chronicles mention a mythical character “half-fish, half-lion”, or Merlion – the guardian angel of Singapore.

One of the legends tells that ages ago a giant beast lived in the area, with the head of a lion and the body of a fish. The beast was guarding the ancient Singapore. When Merlion saw an enemy, its eyes would lit up with red fire and burn the foe to ashes. Never ever has Merlion missed the danger. And one day, when the country was menaced by a terrible storm, the majestic creature came out of the sea and saved humans from inevitable peril, and the country – from inevitable destruction. People of Singapore still worship Merlion. To commemorate their savior, they have built the 37 meters high stone sculpture of the lion-fish.

All legends chant Merlion as a brave and reliable defender of the country and its people. We chose the name of Singapore’s legendary guardian MERLION as the symbol of power, reliability and unfailing duty.”

Source: http://www.merlion.ru/eng/about/why/

If you had laughed at these, you know you’re a Singaporean.

Some of us may complain about everything under the sun for our own benefit or… simply because it is in our culture to do so. Just complain. At least there’s a chance that things would improve, some would say. Some of us may be apathetic because we feel that we may not be able to change anything… but when asked for our opinion, we do have something to say about it. The truth is, we may not be well-rooted here in Singapore by the traditional yardsticks but we are expressing our love for Singapore and giving back to the society in a different way, be it intentional or not.

As I’ve mentioned, NDP 09 is the most successful thus far. This year’s theme “Reaching out, reaching up” was extremely well done. It ventured out into the heartlands, shopping centres, and even online through its website, all forms of social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.), and through mouth – or rather words – of famous bloggers, Mr Brown and Cruz Teng. There were kids giving out some cards in the city to wish Singaporeans “Happy National Day” in advance. I do not recall so much hype leading up to the NDP in the past. I applaud the committee for that. They know what they’re doing and how to do it right.

Also, for once, NDP was not dominated by those abstract mass displays which many Singaporeans can’t identify with… except for its aesthetics. This year’s line up was radically different. There were skits and significantly more song performances by local talents (other than the lip-synching combined school choir, but of course almost everyone else lip-synchs during NDP because they can’t afford to screw up). While Electrico’s “What do you see” isn’t as catchy and memorable as previous NDP songs, it’s definitely comparable to popular songs written by any US/UK band. That’s how they managed to connect with the youth of today. Catchy and folk-like NDP songs aren’t their thing, really.

Though I must say I prefer those folkish songs, especially Kit Chan’s “Home”=p

And of course, there was the “Pledge Moment” at 8.22pm. I heard the chime from home. I guess it came from Downtown East. But I didn’t recite the pledge. I just didn’t think that would make me less of a Singaporean. I’ve heard it being recited by my students in school but how many of them really know what they’ve committed themselves to? (And what’s the use of reciting it over and over again huh?) Do you think the Primary One kids know what a “democratic society” means? Come on, the origin of democracy (from the Greeks) is only taught in the Primary 5 English syllabus. That aside, I must say it’s a good movement. At least it offers youths who are matured enough to know what the pledge means the opportunity to reflect on what we had offered and what we have to offer to Singapore.

“Mean what you say,” the stage display read.

And no, you don’t have to craft a plan of how you can contribute to Singapore. You will probably do it naturally in one way or another. What the pledge moment aims to achieve is not so much as to remind you of what you SHOULD DO, but what you SHOULD NOT DO.

“regardless of race, language or religion”

On teaching

Kids write lines. Teachers gotta reflect too.

I took over an English class today and while it didn’t go quite well, I’m glad my kids had some fun.

Lesson no. 1: Save lesson materials in multiple locations. Thumbdrive (most unreliable, by the way because some computers simply do not detect it but still allow you to eject it safely. wtf.), email account(s), sharing folders of your organisation’s LAN, laptop, hard disk… and wherever you can think of. This isn’t a recommendation. It’s a MUST. You never know when you’ll encounter techincal glitches. It happens. Often.

Well, it has always been my policy to do so but somehow, I didn’t deem it important for today’s lesson. I blame it on my macbook which refused to connect to the school’s wireless network (Yes, there IS a wireless network in a primary school. For who, for what? I’ve no idea but as usual, I don’t question good things. hee.). That has no relation whatsoever to my failure to deliver the specially-crafted lesson to the class but that’s naturally the first line of defense mechanism that most people have – Blame it on someone or something else, other than yourself.

Maybe I was feeling jittery and restless before I can’t access Twitter, Facebook or my email accounts while all other Windows users were able to surf the net effortlessly while I tried (without much success of course) to renew, and renew…. and renew my IP address. Argh.

Anyway, back to the point. Which was…?

Ok, lesson no. 2: Prepare (200+100) %. In addition to basic 100% preparation for a lesson (what do you want to cover; how to make your lessons interesting; how to engage your kids in self-learning after school; preparing a script of what you want to say and how you want to say – trust me, it’s much more than what you think is necessary;), do the above stated in lesson no. 1 (another 100% – that’s effortful k?), and prepare to deliver your lesson without the computer (that would mean your lesson will be less interesting than it should have been; another 100%).

And mind you, all that just for an hour lesson. Imagine having to plan 20 lessons per week. There goes my life. Do not envy teachers who end school at 1.30pm. While it’s officially 6 hours of work per day, lesson preparation (not including marking and additional duties) probably take up the rest of the day…

Oh well, I shall not be too pessimistic at this point in time. Probably I’m just being too anal about how my lessons shall be like. Maybe 2 years down the road, I’ll just heck care and do away with lesson planning – ok, not all, just the script writing part perhaps. Maybe… I should just stop being a perfectionist and making sure that I’m infallible.

Lesson no. 3 (Contributed by Dr Schirmer and Dr Penney): What you’ve planned for one lesson is usually more than enough to cover 2-3 lessons; too idealistic time management, in other words. If you can’t finish a lesson, fret not. Continue what’s left the next lesson. Don’t ‘eat’ into other teachers’ lessons. That’s a no-no because the class will be scolded by the next teacher for returning to class late.

Lesson no. 4: Pray for better luck. Seriously. Not, I’m not actually. First, I don’t pray. Second, I don’t really believe in luck. Ok, there isn’t a lesson no. 4….

because I’ve to reach school before 7.15am tomorrow.

Class of 2009.

Congratulations to the Class of 2009 from the Psychology department=)

As George Bishop said, psychologists are in demand amidst the economic downturn. Ok, he didn’t exactly say that. What he said was: US of A has 1 psychologist for every 10,000 people while Singapore has 1 psychologist for every 130,000 people. A lot of room for growth.

Don’t. fret=p

I do not disagree on that but how many Singaporeans actually know what psychologists do? If they still think we “read minds”, listen to patients on black couches, and interact mostly with disillusioned people, who would seriously consider our importance in the wider society? Nonetheless, I’m optimistic that my fellow psychology majors will have a whole lot of things to offer to every part of the society=)

I can’t tell you how useful psychology is. I can only say that it changed my entire worldview. I no longer see the world as I did 4 years ago. I’m glad I took the gamble 4 years ago and I’ve no regrets.

Anyway, I’m still pretty amused by parts of the speech given by Edmund during the department’s graduation tea. He said ORDERED us to donate a significant portion of our first paycheck to charity. He emphasised that it wasn’t a suggestion. Neither was it a recommendation. He said we MUST do it… because if we do so, we will find it much easier to continue giving back to the society in future. Well said.

Will I do it? Hmm… Well, I guess I can buy lots of sweets for my pupils. haha.

P.S. I really liked Eisen’s valedictorian speech on Tuesday. Here’s the link to his speech: http://eisen.clockinkspiel.net/?p=1131

First mobile post=)

I contemplated getting a digital camera from Japan that creates effects similar to those by a holga camera, i.e., out-of-focus, old-school colours.. But I didn’t get it as I had to save up for my grad trip… Fortunuately, I came across two very cool apps for my iPhone that do the trick – ToyCamera and QuadCamera! Here’re some shots I took of Olie:)

the weeKeNd.

Yes, it was THE weekend that I was looking forward to=)

I met up with the SMU gang from the Sino-Singapore Exchange on Saturday for the much-awaited ktv session=) We went to this Top One ktv at Bugis (opp Toast Box/Breadtalk) and we were very lucky to get a room that was reserved for a party later in the evening (hence the balloons and fancy decor)! It was freaking spacious with 3 HUGE tv screens and a smoke machine (for stage effect)! Damn cool and relatively cheaper than the major ktv chains, I think… cost us $20 nett for 4 hours (up to 6 hours I think), coupled with free-flow of drinks=) It was really fun singing with these guys and I’m looking forward to MORE! haha. In fact, I’m quite surprised that I actually didn’t feel awkward being the only NUS guy amidst the SMU dudes and babes… This ain’t the first time anyway=p I was also in the company of SMU peepz the last time I went to explore the Southern Ridges… I wonder why I’m soooo not shy but it’s a good thing and

I DON’T QUESTION GOOD THINGS;p  

On Sunday, I had a JC-class-gathering-cum-Huixin’s-Housewarming…

 

 

… and the Sino-Singapore (predominantly NUS) BBQ gathering in the later part of the night=D 

To be frank, I was actually looking forward to meeting the Sino-Singapore peepz (whom I’ve known for a couple of months) more than my dearest classmates of 7 years=( Sigh. Is it just a fleeting feeling? I shouldn’t be feeling this way, should I? Have you ever felt vaguely detached from your older friends when a new group of friends comes along?

It is plausible that I am favouring (ok, not exactly that but I can’t find a better choice of word) a new group of friends for the sake of fostering the budding friendship… whereas we tend to be more secure with our older friends.

Or could it be that I am actually preferring to commit myself more to a new group of friends? I wonder. But one thing that I’m certain of is that I feel much more uninhibited with my newer friends than with my older friends. I guess the longer you’ve been with a certain group of friends, the more you would behave in ways that are consistent with your past (for what? I’ve no idea…), and when you meet a new group of friends, it is perhaps easier for you to establish a slightly different identity for yourself? More importantly, I believe, it depends a lot on what you’ve been through with each group of friends… I’ve done stupid things with the sino-sing gang but probably not with my JC classmates. Yup, that could be it. But why not in the first place?

Nevertheless, there’s no point comparing.  Different social networks have inherently different dynamics and it would be like comparing apples with oranges

(and yes, of course apples will win hands down! haha..)

cos i don’t eat oranges. bleah.

 At the end of the day, I will treasure every single one of you. you. you. and yes, you - CG13/01=)